highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize