i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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