my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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