i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
