Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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