why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
