I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize