i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
