I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
