we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
