Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
we're so committed to being not committed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
