sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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