I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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