She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
