If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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