Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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