I want to walk on stilts...naked
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize