Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
