I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
