That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
