if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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