Me too!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
