So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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