We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
