Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They have beer where we have blood.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need water and some morals
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize