M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
