ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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