I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
