What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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