I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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