Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
50% drunk capacity currently
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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