No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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