I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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