I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
