Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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