Quick, to the slutcave!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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