Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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