Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
