She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She swung at the pinata with crutches
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
