She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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