i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
