So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize