yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
