And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
