Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it because I queefed?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
