i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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