One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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