I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
