she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't turn off my feet"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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