She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
