That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
