turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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