How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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