What a fucking waste of an outfit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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