i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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