Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
