Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
