but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
