rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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