my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she smelled like a LAN party
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You were trust falling into bushes
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
