I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
