its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
