his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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