Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
